Although my hair was different, the real change wasn't the hairstyle, but in my attitude towards feeling accepted. By conforming, I felt like I had a place in the world, and the feeling felt good. The real lesson is learning to hold on to that feeling no matter what your hairstyle is.

There is no one way to be black. Our worst performance is entertaining the idea that there is.

I don't feel as if I own, or am allowed to own, 'real suffering', because of the colour of my skin. Instead, I bear a different kind of badge, one I'm supposed to be pleased about: 'model minority'. Is yellow too pale a colour to shout about?