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Can There Be a Perfect Marriage on the Modern Society?

Perfection, from the philosophical point of view, is a state of completeness and flawlessness, an ideal impossible to achieve. We can only get closer to it.

To define the role of society in the marriage we need to answer a few questions. What is a perfect marriage? What is a guarantee of the long-term relationships between a man and a woman? Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”. It means the sweethearts must have the same needs, dreams, aims and prerogatives. Does it mean that these two must be almost soul-twins? Then it opposes the well-known opinion that extremes meet.

I think that they don’t have to be soul-twins, they must be the soulmates, perfectly complementing each other. But above that all, the most important thing in the life for both of them must be being together. This must be the number one priority, the only hill worth dying on. Otherwise the marriage isn’t even worth trying.

This is one of the problems discussed in the novel “The citadel” by A. J. Cronin. Andrew, the character of this novel, chose another priority – the money. I don’t want to blame him or to say that he’s a bad person. After all, he loved his wife Christine first and wished only the best for their family. He wanted them to live in a nice comfy and cozy house, to eat good food and to be well-dressed. But was Christine ready to loose her loving husband for that price? I don’t think so. Some women under the same circumstances are okay with it and don’t care al all. But not Christine. She could love in a cottage, supporting and helping the man she loved. When Andrew was preparing to take a degree she helped him to learn languages. When they bought a practice in London she did her best to make this cold and old house comfortable. And Andrew was enjoying the medical beau monde and started cheating on Christine right after finding a well-paid job. And when he realized his mistakes it was already too late.

People are inclined to blame the circumstances and society when something goes wrong in their relationships. But poverty, distance and society aren’t to blame. People easily spoil everything by themselves. So the only way society can help to decrease the amount of failed marriages is breeding intelligent and moral people. Only this way a man and a woman can get closer to the perfect marriage.